Hardcore Christians | Growing Up | Music Education | The Beginning | Faith on the Road | Getting Personal | Ministry Opportunity | Music and Their Future
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| Lindsey |
Lindsey:
Growing up, I was always the kid that was the outcast. I was the kid that sat in the corner that nobody wanted to be friends with. I would struggle with self worth, and was like, “Why would God ever want to use me” because obviously nobody else liked me. So that was always a big struggle, and I had a lot of anger growing up just because I hated myself so much. I thought I was fat, ugly and stupid because that was pretty much what I heard from everybody else.
I realized that God created me exactly how I am, and I’m beautiful to him. He gave me passion for reading the word, and that is something that I’d never really done growing up. It was just something I had put in the back of my mind that I through when I got older I’d be spiritual like my parents do. And so they talk about David, and how God used him when he was young, and I had never really thought about that.
Jessica:
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| Jessica |
I went to a high school that was very party oriented. It was like you drank on the weekend or you just weren’t cool. Everybody was always talking about all the different kind of drugs they used, and sharing what kind of things they had done the night before. What was really cool is that even though I was surrounded by a bunch of that stuff, I didn’t really have many friends because I had transferred schools to a school where I didn’t really know anybody. I was kind of part of the “out-crowd” anyway. It really didn’t matter to me to be a part of the “in-crowd.
I also had a relationship with Jesus Christ. I had no desire to do any drugs or even smoke. They actually respect kids who stand up for what they believe in. You’ll stand up and say you don’t want to drink, and the “cool kids” will talk to you anyway. I didn’t care about being cool; I just wanted to get through school. I’m not perfect, but it still kept me from those kind of things.
Lindsey:
That year at the music college was a really tough year for me because in May we left for school and my grandpa died like the first of the month. It was really hard because I’d never had anyone close to me die.
I put up a lot of walls, and closed even the girls off. That was the point when I thought about leaving the band just because I thought that they didn’t really listen to me. But in fact I was closing myself off from them. That was the first point in my life when I’d actually thought about suicide. That night I thought that was it and that I couldn’t do it any more. I called Katie on the phone. She was in Arkansas and I was in Memphis. We were both crying and talking about how life sucked. I told her I can’t take college and the stress of all that was going on.
So I was in my car and I remember I was like “God if you’re really real and you really care, you’ve got to send someone to talk to me.” I remember I had a big paper due the next day so I went to Barnes & Noble by myself. When I walked in, out of nowhere this lady comes up to me, and I swear she was an angel. She just sat down and started pouring into my life. She was like “God has a place for you in all of this.” She said, “You’re a guitar player, aren’t you?” I was like “How the heck did you know that?” because I didn’t even mention it to her. She told me that God was going to bless everything to do with my hands as long as I live my life for Him and give everything to him first. It was just crazy. So that was a turning point, and it was really cool.
Melissa:
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| Melissa |
I guess I didn’t understand the whole relationship thing that I needed with Jesus until I was about 12 and I went to camp with a friend. I was not in public school, so I was not tempted by drugs, alcohol and smoking. I’ve always had friends and family so close. I still went through depression for a while, but I don’t even know how God got me out of that. I just remember one day I was crying about it, and I felt that God was telling me I had to snap out of it because it wasn’t going to work. And I just kind of came out of it. I’ve always had really good friends around me. It’s a blessing!
Alyssa:
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| Alyssa |
So my parents are/were the normal Baptist, you know, blah square people. So that’s how I grew up. They always dressed me up in those ridiculous dresses. I turned 11, and that was apparently the time I started hating everyone. Since it was my Dad’s church, I moved around a lot when I was a kid, so I never really had any friends. I never knew, really, like everyone talks about the relationship with God and everything. Until I was about 15 or something I had to go through all the crap that I went through. I went through depression and cutting myself from the time I was 12 until this moment. I still fight it. I haven’t done it in a long time, but it still haunts me. So there was cutting, and I tried to kill myself two or three times.
I got myself into complete rebellion because my parents would always try and “Bless Her Heart” and everything. They were always trying to make me into the squares that they were, and I just have always been who I am. I think I had to because it’s made me a lot stronger, and now I do have a lot under my belt. So I can talk to people about it. Yeah, it’s cool!
Katie:
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| Katie |
When I was 10 or 11 my younger brother was born, and then my parents got really, really busy, and I didn’t have much supervision. I wasn’t like a troubled child or anything. When I was 11 I was molested by my cousin.
When I was 14 I went into a depression and I started to struggle with thoughts of suicide. One night I was about to kill myself. I remember praying to God that I would give Him one more chance. I knew I was one of His kids, but I couldn’t deal with this anymore. I remember flipping on the radio, and right then a song came on, and it was Steven Curtis Chapman’s Fingerprints of God. Word for word, it was what I needed to hear like right then. I know it was God! I know it sounds maybe stupid or by chance, but I don’t see how there can be a song on the radio that was perfect for me right then.
I remember after the song was over just getting down on my knees and crying. I was like ‘God, I know that tonight I was going to kill myself.’ I remember asking what He wanted of me, and if He would use me in music. There have been a lot of struggles, and a lot of things standing in the way, but that is what he chose to use me for.
We played a church a few weeks ago with Flatfoot 56 and a band called Last Toast. The church wanted a few of us to give our testimonies, and we did. I told them pretty much what I just told you.
Hardcore Christians | Growing Up | Music Education | The Beginning | Faith on the Road | Getting Personal | Ministry Opportunity | Music and Their Future